Friday, October 1, 2010

Second Week.... +3.2kgs!

This week was NOT a good week for me.
On Monday I stuffed up my dinner, I tried to make a chicken salad, & decided to experiment with different flavors, so I drizzled lime over the salad... RUINED! It was soo nasty!! So I ended up just eating the chicken. I was still really hungry when I finished it so I made myself 2 peanut butter sandwiches. I knew there would be a few more calories than in a normal snack, but I had NO IDEA just how many! Apparently there are 364 calories in just 1 peanut butter sandwich, so I ate 728 calories just in that snack!! I felt so sick & guilty when I found out, but I worked just a little bit harder on Tuesday to maybe try to make up for it a little, and I threw out the evil peanut butter!!
Then on Wednesday I was pumped to do my work out like I have been everyday, only I was a bit more excited than usual because Wednesday is weigh in day. So I got to the gym (this is a different gym to last week, as I was on a trial of the last gym & decided to join a different one.) hopped on the scales and it says I've lost 5kg! I was really proud of myself! With the 5kg loss that put me down to 129! I was 9kgs away from my 12 week goal! Then as I was high - fiving my gym buddy, the gym staff comes up to me and says "those scales are a bit light, you better come up the back" So I go up the back, hop on the digital scales and not only have I NOT lost 5kgs, I've PUT ON 3.2kgs!! I was soo disappointed! What had I done wrong? Surely the peanut butter sandwiches hadn't done that much damage! I think I was in shock, because I just went ahead with my work out. It sunk in towards the end of my work out & I just started to cry, overwhelmed with disappointment. I quickly pulled myself together though, and tried to "get over it". I went off to meet my friend after wards, she tried to comfort me but I wasn't in the mood to hear it, so I went and locked myself in the public toilets and let myself cry for a few minutes then pulled myself together once more. The day wore on and it got to lunch time, by this point I was really mad with myself, really hating on myself. So I went to the food court and found something really fatty that I knew I shouldn't be eating and scoffed it down like I hadn't eaten in 10 years! I felt so guilty while doing it, but I had some weird feeling that I was "getting back" at my body for not doing what I wanted it to do! The next day I didn't exercise at all, I even ate a piece of chocolate cake! But I re - watched a few of Michelle's "pre task" video's and sought out support on the forums last night to put myself back in the right head space.
Today when I went to work out there was no excitement, as I know I have a lot of work to do to undo the sabotage I have done to myself over the past few days. But once I got on the first machine & turned my mp3 player on, I realised that I was exactly where I wanted to be, and that I LOVE the feeling exercising gives me! I worked out a little bit harder today, to help undo some of the damage, and I'll be working out a little bit harder tomorrow too, but I know now that it doesn't matter if I lose weight every single week, I'm on the right track! I'm getting fit & healthy... Something I have never done before! So it doesn't matter if it takes a little longer than expected, the point is I'm doing the right thing & I'm very excited to see what lies ahead!!


  1. emmy anyone who can inspire me to excercise and eat healthy is pretty special to me,im extremely proud pf you!and i cant wait to see how happy youl be when u start to see the results taking shape! so chin up and go hard!!!!

  2. And I have you to thank for helping me through this week too Josh, you have been such a great support!! THANK YOU!

  3. What a great post. Not because of the weight gain *hugs for you there* but because it shows that we are going to have these set backs from time to time, and the best thing we can do for ourselves is to accept it, deal with it, and then move forward. Which you did! Well done you :)

    I hope you have a really good week this week and that you take each day as it comes. Good luck and look forward to hearing about your results next wednesday.