Sunday, March 9, 2014

3 & a half years later!

Wow! I had completely forgotten about this blog! I kinda wish I had of kept it up for the whole 12 weeks back then to see the full transformation!
By the time I finished that round of Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation I had lost 20kgs. I felt wonderful in my new body and couldn't wait to see how I would look after losing another 20! But I slacked off. There was a lot of stress in my life back then, I became homeless - my son and I had to stay in a refuge for a while, then we finally found a house on the other side of the state - hours away from any family & friends. We had to take it - we didn't have a choice. Once we moved into our new home I was still determined to keep this new healthy lifestyle - so I went straight to the local gym and joined up. For a few months it was going OK... I wasn't working out every day like I had been during the 12WBT but the diet was still good so I signed up for the  next round of 12WBT... Then found out I was expecting! I knew I could still do light exercise but by now I had resigned to the fact that I would have to basically start all over again once bub was born. I stupidly kept using my pregnancy as an excuse to eat badly & slowly the exercise stopped all together. 
I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl on February 13th 2012 at 10am by Cesarean. It didn't take long to recover, as I had already had a Cesar with my first born, so I promised myself that as soon as I felt I could I'd start walking every day and build up my fitness slowly. I had put on 8kgs during my pregnancy, but I knew if I could get them off fairly quickly and get back to the weight I was at the end of the 12WBT that it would be easy to get back into the head space I needed to be in to continue my weight loss journey. 
So I found a gorgeous walking track that passed a little pond, & a paddock with horses, & it even had a few grassy hills for Noah to roll down! Everything was going great... Until I woke up one night feeling like something was crushing my rib cage - I thought I was having heart trouble so we rushed up to the hospital. After a few days in there I was told I had an enlarged gall bladder. Apparently this is not a big deal, it's just uncomfortable & should go away on it's own. Fast forward 3 months and I'm back in hospital for the 100th time - this time being prepped for surgery to have my gall bladder removed. By now I had put on another couple of kilos and was 10kgs heavier than I had started out, but weight loss was not on my mind at all - I had endured so much crap over the past year or so, I sank into a depression - It seemed like if it wasn't one thing it was another! First homeless, then having to move away from everyone & everything I had ever known, a miscarriage scare, severe morning sickness that almost landed me in hospital, cholestasis during the pregnancy, breast feeding all but impossible, and now this! 
Things started to look up after the surgery, I felt better within myself and was able to enjoy the new addition to our family for the first time since she was born. We also moved back to the east coast where all our family & friends are so all of our moods lifted quite a bit. 
So now it was the beginning of 2013, Noah was starting 1st grade at a new school, Annabella had just turned 1, and life was good! So I decided NOW is the time that something needs to be done about my weight. I have been struggling for 12 months now trying to get into the right head space that I need to be in - I have tried everything from bringing the Otto bin inside and emptying all the junk out of my cupboards, to joining Michelle Bridges 12WBT again, to buying exercise equipment (that doesn't get used very often)
2013 was another hard year for my family - Noah got bullied severely & My father came to live with us due to not being able to look after himself anymore. It has been a big adjustment living with a parent again, and now I am homeschooling Noah that takes up a lot of my time, but I know that isn't an excuse. Josh and I have decided that May 2015 will be the time we get married so I have a lot of work to do before then. I refuse to even try on a wedding dress until I am weighing in the double digits. I am at my heaviest now at 140kgs. I am ashamed to leave the house most days, I hate this body and the way that I feel in it, so I am determined now.... THIS IS IT. No more excuses! If I don't get healthy I won't be around to see Noah's 18th birthday, or Annabella have children... Heck I may not even be around for my own wedding if I don't get my butt into gear!! WATCH THIS SPACE. "before" pics coming soon.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Week 6... HALF WAY!!

OMG! I can't believe we're half way already!
I'm torn though... Part of me is really excited and proud that I'm still going with my healthy lifestyle =), but the other part is disappointed because I wanted to have lost at least 10kgs by now, & I've only lost 7.7kgs! =(
Highlights of this week were that I swam 10 laps in the pool, and lost 2kgs... The most I've lost since week one when I had the massive loss then put half of it back on!
This week Michelle set us a task to make a video about how "extraordinary" the 12WBT program is helping us to be, so instead of writing a long post I thought I'd share my entry with you!!
(Beware... There are some really bad photo's, & some really shocking truths in there!)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Weak Week 5...

This week was pretty pathetic, quite a poor effort in terms of exercise! Monday and Tuesday was fine, but on Wednesday I thought it might be a good idea to do my workout in the pool instead of at the gym, but there was no empty lanes in the pool so I ended up doing a few laps in the hydro pool, didn't feel like a proper work out at all! Then on Thursday I didn't work out at all because of the old excuse "I'm too busy" I felt so guilty all night! Didn't weigh in until Friday and seen that I only lost 800grams. Was feeling kind of down so I came home and was checking my emails when I seen an email from Michelle... She was saying in it how well I'm doing and that she's really proud of me, I have to say it came at such an awesome time! It picked me straight back up, I went out the next day (Saturday) and did the Super Saturday workout, I SMASHED IT!! I jogged half a kilometer! I didn't think I was going to be able to finish it, but I kept going and before I knew it I had run 500 meters!! I don't mind saying that I felt absolutely awesome!! I could not have done that when I first started this program! I couldn't run AT ALL when I first started!
One of my "One month goals" was to be able to enjoy exercising, well I can safely say I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!! I've noticed that my abs are getting stronger too, I used to have to stop after 3 or 4 because it burned so much, but now I can do almost 10 without stopping!
My beautiful 4 year old son is also reaping the benefits of this new lifestyle, he NEVER used to eat his vegies, now he gobbles them down! He also does soccer and swimming every week too & loves "watching mummy exercise!" He gets down and tries to do some push ups with me, it's so cute!!
I'm finding out who my real friends are too. I have gotten tremendous support from most of my loved ones, but there are a few that haven't been talking to me as much, and when I do talk to them, they completely ignore me if I say anything about my weight loss journey. It really hurt there for a while, but now I have realised that they are just jealous! Which is really sad actually, because they are big people too and could be getting healthy right along with me, but they are too lazy or too set in their ways.
Oh well, no great loss. You win some, you lose some! I can't wait to get my 12WBT Shirt!!

One Month Mini Milestone!!

So this week marks an entire month that I've been in this new lifestyle and I am soo extremely proud of myself! I never stick to anything in life so just the fact that I have come this far is so awesome!! I have been getting heaps of compliments from my family & friends, I can't see any changes myself, but it's good to know that others can!
For my mini milestone this month I was supposed to do a 5 kilometer charity walk for diabetes in Newcastle, but the night before the walk I checked out the website for directions and realised I had signed up to the Sydney one! I didn't really want to travel all the way to Sydney, so I ended up putting Noah in the pram, the dog on the lead, and dragging my friend along with me for a 5 kilometer walk around the area where I live. I did a few jogging sprints throughout the walk as well. I was really proud of myself for getting through the whole thing, and very grateful to my friend Josh who is always there for me when I need him!
Although I didn't actually lose any weight this week, I didn't put any on either so that's ok! I have lost quite a bit in measurements too! 5cm off my chest, 7cm off my waist, 6cm off my butt! Can't wait to do the measurements again next month!!
I can feel that I've gotten so much fitter too, I went from not being able to even do 1 push up a month ago to doing 15 this time around!!
All in all I'm really happy with my new lifestyle & I'll NEVER go back to the way that I was!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Week 3... Some times I really hate being a girl!! =(

This week started out fine, and ended ok, but the middle wasn't so great.
Monday went to the gym for a work out and some how hurt my knee while on the tready... Don't know what happened, it just started to hurt! The rowing machine KILLED my calves... I DON'T LIKE THAT MACHINE! LOL! I had to stop around 3 times on the treadmill while trying to do the "learn to run" program as I was just soo out of breath!
Tuesday was pretty crap, I had ANOTHER break down, I fell off the rowing machine! (SOO embarrassing!!) I stupidly put my towel on the seat of the machine, then after a few strides the towel moved & got caught underneath the sliding part and BOOM off I go, feet still strapped in and all! There were quite a few buff guys there so I was really humiliated & intimidated! WORST MOMENT so far!! Luckily for me I have an AMAZING friend doing this with me and he picked me up, brushed me off, and talked me through it. I got back on the rowing machine and continued with my workout & soon forgot all about it!

Wednesday I was PMSing really badly, I was trying to do the "learn to run" program again and I got really really mad at myself because I was so puffed & couldn't breath. No matter how hard I tried to keep to the program my body just WOULD NOT do what I wanted it to! I powered on though and finished the workout, can't believe how cranky I got though!! LOL! I weighed myself at the end of my workout and noted that I had lost 1.2kg. Not a lot, but hey it's a loss!

Thursday I realised how good my body is feeling!! Before I started this program just standing up from a sitting position would make me see stars, and I would feel a little puffed, and my body felt about 50! Now I'm feeling like a brand new girl! I still pause when I stand up waiting for the stars to go away or to catch my breath, but it's not happening! Even though the weight loss is really slow (probably because I have strayed from the diet) I'm feeling wonderful!!

Friday & Saturday were non existent for me, I had an extremely heavy flow & it was impossible for any exersise to be done. I hated every minute of it as I really look forward to my daily workouts! Another really bad thing about this time of the month is my mood & my sweet tooth!! I ate like 3 ice creams on Saturday, they were weight watchers ones, but still!! I know it's bad but the body doesn't want to listen to reason! =(

Sunday I was able to get out and do a bit of excersise so I tried to do both Fridays & Saturdays workouts, I did Fridays out in the sunshine at the local oval, my dad took my little boy over to the playground next to the oval so we all had a good time. It was nice to be out in the sun! I did however have an overly friendly dog come and jump all over me while I was trying to do my abs excersises!! LOL!! Saturday I was supposed to do all or part of my mini milestone that I'm completing next week which is a 5km walk, but I could only manage 2.5km on the treadmill... I'm a bit worried about next Saturday now!! I tried to make up for it by doing an extra 2omins on the bike though!

All in all this week was ok,
Highlights; I am noticing how grateful my body is for this new life.
Lowlights; Really need to learn how to control my sweet tooth at that time of the month!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Second Week.... +3.2kgs!

This week was NOT a good week for me.
On Monday I stuffed up my dinner, I tried to make a chicken salad, & decided to experiment with different flavors, so I drizzled lime over the salad... RUINED! It was soo nasty!! So I ended up just eating the chicken. I was still really hungry when I finished it so I made myself 2 peanut butter sandwiches. I knew there would be a few more calories than in a normal snack, but I had NO IDEA just how many! Apparently there are 364 calories in just 1 peanut butter sandwich, so I ate 728 calories just in that snack!! I felt so sick & guilty when I found out, but I worked just a little bit harder on Tuesday to maybe try to make up for it a little, and I threw out the evil peanut butter!!
Then on Wednesday I was pumped to do my work out like I have been everyday, only I was a bit more excited than usual because Wednesday is weigh in day. So I got to the gym (this is a different gym to last week, as I was on a trial of the last gym & decided to join a different one.) hopped on the scales and it says I've lost 5kg! I was really proud of myself! With the 5kg loss that put me down to 129! I was 9kgs away from my 12 week goal! Then as I was high - fiving my gym buddy, the gym staff comes up to me and says "those scales are a bit light, you better come up the back" So I go up the back, hop on the digital scales and not only have I NOT lost 5kgs, I've PUT ON 3.2kgs!! I was soo disappointed! What had I done wrong? Surely the peanut butter sandwiches hadn't done that much damage! I think I was in shock, because I just went ahead with my work out. It sunk in towards the end of my work out & I just started to cry, overwhelmed with disappointment. I quickly pulled myself together though, and tried to "get over it". I went off to meet my friend after wards, she tried to comfort me but I wasn't in the mood to hear it, so I went and locked myself in the public toilets and let myself cry for a few minutes then pulled myself together once more. The day wore on and it got to lunch time, by this point I was really mad with myself, really hating on myself. So I went to the food court and found something really fatty that I knew I shouldn't be eating and scoffed it down like I hadn't eaten in 10 years! I felt so guilty while doing it, but I had some weird feeling that I was "getting back" at my body for not doing what I wanted it to do! The next day I didn't exercise at all, I even ate a piece of chocolate cake! But I re - watched a few of Michelle's "pre task" video's and sought out support on the forums last night to put myself back in the right head space.
Today when I went to work out there was no excitement, as I know I have a lot of work to do to undo the sabotage I have done to myself over the past few days. But once I got on the first machine & turned my mp3 player on, I realised that I was exactly where I wanted to be, and that I LOVE the feeling exercising gives me! I worked out a little bit harder today, to help undo some of the damage, and I'll be working out a little bit harder tomorrow too, but I know now that it doesn't matter if I lose weight every single week, I'm on the right track! I'm getting fit & healthy... Something I have never done before! So it doesn't matter if it takes a little longer than expected, the point is I'm doing the right thing & I'm very excited to see what lies ahead!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

First Weigh In...

So, I've been doing the program for exactly 3 days now, it's been great! I've been eating all the great food Michelle told me to buy -
There are a heap of foods I haven't tried before, one of them being SALMON! I have one word to say about salmon... YUUUUUKKKKKK!!! I have never tasted anything so foul in all my life!! Just thinking about it is making me heave!! BLERKKK!!
Ok, now that I have that off my chest, let me tell you how my journey is going so far!
As I said before, I bought everything Michelle told me to (& there was A LOT of stuff!) it cost me a small fortune, pretty much DOUBLE what I usually spend on groceries. I suppose I just have to just keep telling myself that you can't put a price on health!! I don't think it will cost that much next week, as I know now the things that I like & don't like so I can switch things around a little bit!
Counting calories is turning out to be easier than I thought it would be, the only thing I'm having trouble with is figuring out how many calories are in fresh fruit & veg? Or meat even? It's easy with the packet stuff, I just have to read the nutritional panel! But you can't do that with the fresh stuff!!
Another major part of Michelle's weight loss program is of course, the exercising!! I have only done 3 workouts so far, (apart from the group workout I joined in on just before we officially started.) I absolutely LOVE it! Don't get me wrong, I'm utterly buggered by the time I finish, but the feeling of knowing that I'm doing something good for myself overtakes the exhaustion!
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think about is going to the Gym. I try to go around midday, as I've found that not many people are there then. Although, I have to say, I'm no where near as embarrassed as I thought I would be going into a Gym! I thought I'd be really intimidated & humiliated, but it's not like that at all! Everyone is focused on their own reasons for being there, not staring at me! Another thing that has made the Gym enjoyable for me is my friend who has been coming along with me. Just knowing I have someone there is so comforting!
I don't think I would be enjoying this journey as much if I wasn't going to a Gym. I love that everyone is so friendly. It's a very enjoyable place to be, the atmosphere is happy & relaxed. The equipment is all clean, quality, easy to use stuff, and there's always some great music pumping to get you going!
I always thought Gym memberships were a waste of money. That was until I actually stepped foot in one! They are totally worth the money, if not for the equipment you get to use, then for the friends you can make, & the professional advice about exercising & equipment that you won't get from buying your own equipment!
Even as I sit here writing this, I'm wishing I was at the Gym working out! I can just see I am going to turn into one of those "Gym Junkies"!!
Before joining this program, while trying to figure out how I was going to drop all this extra weight I actually contemplated studying to become a Personal Trainer. So that when I am fit & fabulous I can help others in the situation I'm in now. I didn't really look into it that much, because I wasn't sure I would enjoy the exercising that much, but now that I know how much I love it I've made a desicion!! My career path is chosen, I am going to be A PERSONAL TRAINER! This is actually a really huge thing for me, because I have always been confused about what I want to do with my life. I couldn't choose a career for the life of me! My long term career goal would be to move to America & train celebrities!!
Weigh in is every Wednesday, and even though we have only just started this week we weighed in today. I wasn't expecting to have lost any weight at all since I've only done the 3 workouts, but according to the scales at the Gym I've lost a whopping 7 kilos!! I didn't believe it at first, I had to check it 4 times! Then I still wasn't convinced so I told the staff their scales must be broken! Then they put me on another set of scales, which said the exact same thing! So I'm pretty proud of myself right now! I know that the bigger you are, the more weight you'll lose straight up, but I can't help feeling chuffed! I mean 3 days, 7 kgs! That's fricken awesome!!
I'll sign off now, I know I said in the last post they wouldn't all be this long... Sorry to say, but they probably WILL be!! =D