Monday, November 1, 2010

Week 6... HALF WAY!!

OMG! I can't believe we're half way already!
I'm torn though... Part of me is really excited and proud that I'm still going with my healthy lifestyle =), but the other part is disappointed because I wanted to have lost at least 10kgs by now, & I've only lost 7.7kgs! =(
Highlights of this week were that I swam 10 laps in the pool, and lost 2kgs... The most I've lost since week one when I had the massive loss then put half of it back on!
This week Michelle set us a task to make a video about how "extraordinary" the 12WBT program is helping us to be, so instead of writing a long post I thought I'd share my entry with you!!
(Beware... There are some really bad photo's, & some really shocking truths in there!)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Weak Week 5...

This week was pretty pathetic, quite a poor effort in terms of exercise! Monday and Tuesday was fine, but on Wednesday I thought it might be a good idea to do my workout in the pool instead of at the gym, but there was no empty lanes in the pool so I ended up doing a few laps in the hydro pool, didn't feel like a proper work out at all! Then on Thursday I didn't work out at all because of the old excuse "I'm too busy" I felt so guilty all night! Didn't weigh in until Friday and seen that I only lost 800grams. Was feeling kind of down so I came home and was checking my emails when I seen an email from Michelle... She was saying in it how well I'm doing and that she's really proud of me, I have to say it came at such an awesome time! It picked me straight back up, I went out the next day (Saturday) and did the Super Saturday workout, I SMASHED IT!! I jogged half a kilometer! I didn't think I was going to be able to finish it, but I kept going and before I knew it I had run 500 meters!! I don't mind saying that I felt absolutely awesome!! I could not have done that when I first started this program! I couldn't run AT ALL when I first started!
One of my "One month goals" was to be able to enjoy exercising, well I can safely say I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!! I've noticed that my abs are getting stronger too, I used to have to stop after 3 or 4 because it burned so much, but now I can do almost 10 without stopping!
My beautiful 4 year old son is also reaping the benefits of this new lifestyle, he NEVER used to eat his vegies, now he gobbles them down! He also does soccer and swimming every week too & loves "watching mummy exercise!" He gets down and tries to do some push ups with me, it's so cute!!
I'm finding out who my real friends are too. I have gotten tremendous support from most of my loved ones, but there are a few that haven't been talking to me as much, and when I do talk to them, they completely ignore me if I say anything about my weight loss journey. It really hurt there for a while, but now I have realised that they are just jealous! Which is really sad actually, because they are big people too and could be getting healthy right along with me, but they are too lazy or too set in their ways.
Oh well, no great loss. You win some, you lose some! I can't wait to get my 12WBT Shirt!!

One Month Mini Milestone!!

So this week marks an entire month that I've been in this new lifestyle and I am soo extremely proud of myself! I never stick to anything in life so just the fact that I have come this far is so awesome!! I have been getting heaps of compliments from my family & friends, I can't see any changes myself, but it's good to know that others can!
For my mini milestone this month I was supposed to do a 5 kilometer charity walk for diabetes in Newcastle, but the night before the walk I checked out the website for directions and realised I had signed up to the Sydney one! I didn't really want to travel all the way to Sydney, so I ended up putting Noah in the pram, the dog on the lead, and dragging my friend along with me for a 5 kilometer walk around the area where I live. I did a few jogging sprints throughout the walk as well. I was really proud of myself for getting through the whole thing, and very grateful to my friend Josh who is always there for me when I need him!
Although I didn't actually lose any weight this week, I didn't put any on either so that's ok! I have lost quite a bit in measurements too! 5cm off my chest, 7cm off my waist, 6cm off my butt! Can't wait to do the measurements again next month!!
I can feel that I've gotten so much fitter too, I went from not being able to even do 1 push up a month ago to doing 15 this time around!!
All in all I'm really happy with my new lifestyle & I'll NEVER go back to the way that I was!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Week 3... Some times I really hate being a girl!! =(

This week started out fine, and ended ok, but the middle wasn't so great.
Monday went to the gym for a work out and some how hurt my knee while on the tready... Don't know what happened, it just started to hurt! The rowing machine KILLED my calves... I DON'T LIKE THAT MACHINE! LOL! I had to stop around 3 times on the treadmill while trying to do the "learn to run" program as I was just soo out of breath!
Tuesday was pretty crap, I had ANOTHER break down, I fell off the rowing machine! (SOO embarrassing!!) I stupidly put my towel on the seat of the machine, then after a few strides the towel moved & got caught underneath the sliding part and BOOM off I go, feet still strapped in and all! There were quite a few buff guys there so I was really humiliated & intimidated! WORST MOMENT so far!! Luckily for me I have an AMAZING friend doing this with me and he picked me up, brushed me off, and talked me through it. I got back on the rowing machine and continued with my workout & soon forgot all about it!

Wednesday I was PMSing really badly, I was trying to do the "learn to run" program again and I got really really mad at myself because I was so puffed & couldn't breath. No matter how hard I tried to keep to the program my body just WOULD NOT do what I wanted it to! I powered on though and finished the workout, can't believe how cranky I got though!! LOL! I weighed myself at the end of my workout and noted that I had lost 1.2kg. Not a lot, but hey it's a loss!

Thursday I realised how good my body is feeling!! Before I started this program just standing up from a sitting position would make me see stars, and I would feel a little puffed, and my body felt about 50! Now I'm feeling like a brand new girl! I still pause when I stand up waiting for the stars to go away or to catch my breath, but it's not happening! Even though the weight loss is really slow (probably because I have strayed from the diet) I'm feeling wonderful!!

Friday & Saturday were non existent for me, I had an extremely heavy flow & it was impossible for any exersise to be done. I hated every minute of it as I really look forward to my daily workouts! Another really bad thing about this time of the month is my mood & my sweet tooth!! I ate like 3 ice creams on Saturday, they were weight watchers ones, but still!! I know it's bad but the body doesn't want to listen to reason! =(

Sunday I was able to get out and do a bit of excersise so I tried to do both Fridays & Saturdays workouts, I did Fridays out in the sunshine at the local oval, my dad took my little boy over to the playground next to the oval so we all had a good time. It was nice to be out in the sun! I did however have an overly friendly dog come and jump all over me while I was trying to do my abs excersises!! LOL!! Saturday I was supposed to do all or part of my mini milestone that I'm completing next week which is a 5km walk, but I could only manage 2.5km on the treadmill... I'm a bit worried about next Saturday now!! I tried to make up for it by doing an extra 2omins on the bike though!

All in all this week was ok,
Highlights; I am noticing how grateful my body is for this new life.
Lowlights; Really need to learn how to control my sweet tooth at that time of the month!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Second Week.... +3.2kgs!

This week was NOT a good week for me.
On Monday I stuffed up my dinner, I tried to make a chicken salad, & decided to experiment with different flavors, so I drizzled lime over the salad... RUINED! It was soo nasty!! So I ended up just eating the chicken. I was still really hungry when I finished it so I made myself 2 peanut butter sandwiches. I knew there would be a few more calories than in a normal snack, but I had NO IDEA just how many! Apparently there are 364 calories in just 1 peanut butter sandwich, so I ate 728 calories just in that snack!! I felt so sick & guilty when I found out, but I worked just a little bit harder on Tuesday to maybe try to make up for it a little, and I threw out the evil peanut butter!!
Then on Wednesday I was pumped to do my work out like I have been everyday, only I was a bit more excited than usual because Wednesday is weigh in day. So I got to the gym (this is a different gym to last week, as I was on a trial of the last gym & decided to join a different one.) hopped on the scales and it says I've lost 5kg! I was really proud of myself! With the 5kg loss that put me down to 129! I was 9kgs away from my 12 week goal! Then as I was high - fiving my gym buddy, the gym staff comes up to me and says "those scales are a bit light, you better come up the back" So I go up the back, hop on the digital scales and not only have I NOT lost 5kgs, I've PUT ON 3.2kgs!! I was soo disappointed! What had I done wrong? Surely the peanut butter sandwiches hadn't done that much damage! I think I was in shock, because I just went ahead with my work out. It sunk in towards the end of my work out & I just started to cry, overwhelmed with disappointment. I quickly pulled myself together though, and tried to "get over it". I went off to meet my friend after wards, she tried to comfort me but I wasn't in the mood to hear it, so I went and locked myself in the public toilets and let myself cry for a few minutes then pulled myself together once more. The day wore on and it got to lunch time, by this point I was really mad with myself, really hating on myself. So I went to the food court and found something really fatty that I knew I shouldn't be eating and scoffed it down like I hadn't eaten in 10 years! I felt so guilty while doing it, but I had some weird feeling that I was "getting back" at my body for not doing what I wanted it to do! The next day I didn't exercise at all, I even ate a piece of chocolate cake! But I re - watched a few of Michelle's "pre task" video's and sought out support on the forums last night to put myself back in the right head space.
Today when I went to work out there was no excitement, as I know I have a lot of work to do to undo the sabotage I have done to myself over the past few days. But once I got on the first machine & turned my mp3 player on, I realised that I was exactly where I wanted to be, and that I LOVE the feeling exercising gives me! I worked out a little bit harder today, to help undo some of the damage, and I'll be working out a little bit harder tomorrow too, but I know now that it doesn't matter if I lose weight every single week, I'm on the right track! I'm getting fit & healthy... Something I have never done before! So it doesn't matter if it takes a little longer than expected, the point is I'm doing the right thing & I'm very excited to see what lies ahead!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

First Weigh In...

So, I've been doing the program for exactly 3 days now, it's been great! I've been eating all the great food Michelle told me to buy -
There are a heap of foods I haven't tried before, one of them being SALMON! I have one word to say about salmon... YUUUUUKKKKKK!!! I have never tasted anything so foul in all my life!! Just thinking about it is making me heave!! BLERKKK!!
Ok, now that I have that off my chest, let me tell you how my journey is going so far!
As I said before, I bought everything Michelle told me to (& there was A LOT of stuff!) it cost me a small fortune, pretty much DOUBLE what I usually spend on groceries. I suppose I just have to just keep telling myself that you can't put a price on health!! I don't think it will cost that much next week, as I know now the things that I like & don't like so I can switch things around a little bit!
Counting calories is turning out to be easier than I thought it would be, the only thing I'm having trouble with is figuring out how many calories are in fresh fruit & veg? Or meat even? It's easy with the packet stuff, I just have to read the nutritional panel! But you can't do that with the fresh stuff!!
Another major part of Michelle's weight loss program is of course, the exercising!! I have only done 3 workouts so far, (apart from the group workout I joined in on just before we officially started.) I absolutely LOVE it! Don't get me wrong, I'm utterly buggered by the time I finish, but the feeling of knowing that I'm doing something good for myself overtakes the exhaustion!
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think about is going to the Gym. I try to go around midday, as I've found that not many people are there then. Although, I have to say, I'm no where near as embarrassed as I thought I would be going into a Gym! I thought I'd be really intimidated & humiliated, but it's not like that at all! Everyone is focused on their own reasons for being there, not staring at me! Another thing that has made the Gym enjoyable for me is my friend who has been coming along with me. Just knowing I have someone there is so comforting!
I don't think I would be enjoying this journey as much if I wasn't going to a Gym. I love that everyone is so friendly. It's a very enjoyable place to be, the atmosphere is happy & relaxed. The equipment is all clean, quality, easy to use stuff, and there's always some great music pumping to get you going!
I always thought Gym memberships were a waste of money. That was until I actually stepped foot in one! They are totally worth the money, if not for the equipment you get to use, then for the friends you can make, & the professional advice about exercising & equipment that you won't get from buying your own equipment!
Even as I sit here writing this, I'm wishing I was at the Gym working out! I can just see I am going to turn into one of those "Gym Junkies"!!
Before joining this program, while trying to figure out how I was going to drop all this extra weight I actually contemplated studying to become a Personal Trainer. So that when I am fit & fabulous I can help others in the situation I'm in now. I didn't really look into it that much, because I wasn't sure I would enjoy the exercising that much, but now that I know how much I love it I've made a desicion!! My career path is chosen, I am going to be A PERSONAL TRAINER! This is actually a really huge thing for me, because I have always been confused about what I want to do with my life. I couldn't choose a career for the life of me! My long term career goal would be to move to America & train celebrities!!
Weigh in is every Wednesday, and even though we have only just started this week we weighed in today. I wasn't expecting to have lost any weight at all since I've only done the 3 workouts, but according to the scales at the Gym I've lost a whopping 7 kilos!! I didn't believe it at first, I had to check it 4 times! Then I still wasn't convinced so I told the staff their scales must be broken! Then they put me on another set of scales, which said the exact same thing! So I'm pretty proud of myself right now! I know that the bigger you are, the more weight you'll lose straight up, but I can't help feeling chuffed! I mean 3 days, 7 kgs! That's fricken awesome!!
I'll sign off now, I know I said in the last post they wouldn't all be this long... Sorry to say, but they probably WILL be!! =D

Monday, September 20, 2010

Motivation & Inspiration!

This is a video that someone doing the 12WBT posted on one of the forums, I thought it was so motivational that I wanted to share it too!!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Begining!!

I've been big my entire life, there is not one photo I own of myself where I am thin or fit.
My mum died when I was 5, leaving my dad to bring me up on his own. There weren't many good memories of my childhood, but one thing I do remember is that whenever my dad wanted to give me a "treat" it was ALWAYS junk food! Ice cream, chips, lollies, & chocolate were the main things I would get. At the time I thought it was awesome. But now I look back and think "how could you do that to me?"
In all my years at primary school I was teased, being called "fatty boom sticks" & "fatso" were an every day occurrence. I was never put in any sport teams or even out of school activities. My dad hated to spend money unless it was on one of his precious cars!
When I got into high school I stopped eating lunch, which went on for years (I still have trouble eating lunch) because I thought it would help me lose weight. So I stopped eating breakfast too, this went on until about 4 years ago when I had my son, I was in hospital for a good 2 months & got served up breakfast every morning so I got back into the routine.
I have never joined any sport teams or gyms, because I thought "well I'm fat so everyone will stare" I know, I'm so STUPID!
I have let it go for WAAY too long, and now I am the heaviest I have ever been, 140kgs!
For the past 4 years I've said "I'm going to lose weight & get fit, this is it!" but then I get side tracked and think "I'll start it next month."
I think for my whole life, even in my childhood, I was just "existing" I have never really LIVED. I never did sports, I never had any out of school activities, I just went to school & came home. I dropped out of school in year 10, I was too busy getting drunk with my friends to care about the future. With no support at home or at school it never crossed my mind that I'd end up on government benefits not even being able to support myself!
Well, now I'm gonna LIVE! I'm going to do all the things I never got a chance to do! I'm going to join sport teams, I'm going to study, get a job, travel, JUST LIVE!! Life is not going to wait for me, & I'm NOT going to wait until I have a stroke or heart attack! I'm getting older & I haven't done ANYTHING yet! I want to be there for my son for as long as I possibly can, & be an excellent role model to him! I can't believe how long I've let it go on! I mean, my mum passed away from CANCER and I let myself get MORBIDLY OBESE?! WTF!!
I signed up to the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation program with the same determination I have every other time I start something new. But, if I'm completely honest, in the back of my mind I was thinking that I'd probably quit before it even finished!
Well now I can wholeheartedly say "THAT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!"
Since I signed up Michelle has put out a few "pre tasks" podcasts up, which are designed to put me in the correct mind set to start me on my "new path" to health & fitness. They have really helped me, but the thing that has helped the most was the "Group Workout" that I went to last week.
I travelled down to Sydney thinking it was going to be a lot of fun, but when I got there I started to get intimidated by all these people that were soo much smaller than me. The old me would've packed up there & then and went home, but I stayed for the whole time & worked my ass off! I couldn't believe how UNFIT I am, I knew I was unfit but had no idea it was so bad!
About half way through the work out, tears started to pour down my face. I couldn't stop them, as hard as I tried I was just overwhelmed with disappointment in myself, that I'd let myself get so fat & unfit, disappointed that I was such a bad mother that I was doing the SAME thing to my son, that my dad did to me! I was letting my dad do the same thing to him that he did to me! I was bringing my son up to think that it was ok to eat junk all the time, that being lazy was ok!
Michelle actually came up to me at this point, put her arm around me & said "how amazing are you!" I told her I wasn't very amazing at all, she said the fact that I'd come there has shown that I'm really trying to change & gave me a huge hug. I was still feeling like a fat frumpy loser when I turned around to move onto my next task to see about 50 people standing there clapping & cheering for ME! The disapointment turned into empowerment, I couldn't believe all those people DIDN'T think I was a fat frumpy loser! They had all been where I was, and knew how I was feeling, it was an amazing feeling that I'll never forget! I'm more determined than ever, because all those people that intimidated me because they are thinner than me were JUST LIKE ME once!
I have started a book about my journey so that I can always look back on it and see WHY & HOW I did what I did. It's got a whole heap of bad photo's of me in it... If that's not motivation I don't know what is!! I went into a Gym today, they aren't as scary as I thought! It actually looks really inviting and the people are so lovely! I thought I'd be stared at and whispered about, but not at all!! I can't wait to get dressed up in my new clothes and joggers and go to the Gym on Monday! My little boy will be going to the Creche they have there & will get to play with the other kids, which he will LOVE, & I'll be doing a fun class!
  • I have even registered for my FIRST EVER charity walk! I've never done ANYTHING like that!
In October I will be doing a 5km walk for the cure of type 1 diabetes! My cousins wife actually has this, so it's something that I hold close to my heart & to know that I can help find a cure will be just amazing! If you'd like to donate please click on this link :

I'll try and write an entry every week, but I can promise they won't all be as long as this one!! LOL! Sorry!